Review and Interview by Scotty J
Steel Panther has just released their 5th studio album and it doesn’t disappoint. ‘Heavy Metal Rules’ is the follow-up to 2017’s ‘Lower The Bar’. In the interview featured with this post, Michael Starr and Satchel go into detail surrounding the double entendre behind the album title. I’ve also decided to provide my own review of ‘Heavy Metal Rules’. Make sure you have Purell on hand.
Interview with Michael Starr and Satchel
Zebra man – many bands named. Madonna has clearly passed her prime.
All I wanna do do is fuck (myself tonight) – Well the lyrics pretty much say it all don’t they? No chance in hell this song gets air play! Lol. But the question is how could this be modified to be commercially acceptable? Impossible?
Steel Panther – All I Wanna Do Is Fuck (Myself Tonight)
Let’s get high tonight – on what exactly? Listen to the interview and you know what they’re into. Coke? Mescaline? LSD? “Fornicate on the neighbors lawn”. Clearly a band with no concern for commercially acceptable success. They pretty much cover every drug category lol. Like the interview indicates… have a different label! But then Satchel shows his talent on guitar.
Always Gonna Be a Ho! – now this is some kind of ballad. Lol. Ladies… you’re not gonna love this one. If anything… don’t be a groupie. You’re legend isn’t remembered fondly. “I don’t care if your daddy is Russell Crow. Your always gonna be a Ho.” From an official music video perspective… what would Queen say? Yikes lol. Hopefully they have a sense of humor.
Steel Panther – Always Gonna Be A Ho
I’m Not Your Bitch – starting out with a heavy metal sound!… no need to read into the message. Lyrics aside it sounds like any heavy metal song written from a riff perspective. Instrumentation sounds kick ass. From a commercial perspective it’s bleeeeeeeeep!!!! Lol. But then we’re talking about Steel Panther. Commercial play be damned. By the record and jam this track in your car… no one will bother you.
Fuck Everybody – what pray tell could this be about? Definitely don’t drive and do social media. You’re getting called out. Hell… for that matter everybody is getting called out lol. That said… satchel sure can rock! And Michael has a heavy metal voice that can hang with the best of them.
Steel Panther – Fuck Everybody
Heavy Metal Rules – from the big inning you almost thought Michael was gonna deliver something cerebral. Yeah right! Love his reference to Gene Simmons! Lol. Exactly what are the heavy metal rules? Listen and take notes.
Sneaky Little Bitch – the very beginning had me thinking this was a hybrid of STP and Van Halen. Then I realized this was SP. The Riffs are hilariously STP/LED Zep strong though. “Dancing Days”? Tell me you don’t hear it.
Steel Panther Photo Gallery by Out with Ambler
Gods of Pussy – kinda ballady?? But SP makes their presence known. If there was ever a doubt about groupies place in society this song puts it all to rest. The back stage experience is what this band lives for. Again… satchel absolutely jams with the best of them! Heavy metal guitar shredding doesn’t lack an ounce.
I Ain’t Buying What You’re Selling – an acoustic beauty. Michael shows off his vocals with the most pleasant and vibrato skills where no one could do better. Just don’t piss on my head and tell me it’s rain.